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January 27, 2012
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25,195 (2 today)
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Growing Up by estallidos Growing Up by estallidos
an honest adult.

-

i post these to twitter, by the way. so if you don't have instagram you can still read them.

www.twitter.com/understandably
www.facebook.com/kelseyrakes
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbros-key:
Bros-Key Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Kind of sucks, guilt does. If you're the right kind of person, even the smallest things will haunt you and eat away at the already gaping hole in your heart. Even if you forget about it, the greatest accomplishments in life, are when you were able to forgive yourself.
Reply
:iconskeletonsteps:
skeletonsteps Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Student Writer
This is so honest and real, it scares me. Lovely work.
Reply
:iconxpheonix57:
xpheonix57 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
That was so amazing to read that I could literally feel the heartache.
Reply
:iconxpheonix57:
xpheonix57 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
And after reading it again, it brings tears to my eyes.
Reply
:iconrorrimami:
Rorrimami Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012   Writer
Stunningly sad.
Reply
:icondarkprincess131998:
darkprincess131998 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow...this almost brought me to tears...i can put myself in both places
Reply
:iconvria:
Vria Featured By Owner May 2, 2012  Student Photographer
I love the inclusion of capitals in this one. It makes the poem seem that much more reflective.

I usually love the softness of the lowercase, though.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
Who hasn´t seen, or experienced, something like this?
Excellent and most illuminating.
Thank you!
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Professional Writer
thank YOU for reading!
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012
It was a pleasure!
Reply
:iconryuu-izou:
Ryuu-Izou Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Makes me think of the fear we have of doing the right things when the rights things might be the unpopular choice.

Exellent poem. :D
Reply
:iconwaldeck:
Waldeck Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
this is a truly masterpiece of modern literature.
I like all the polish-glimmer things in your works.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Professional Writer
hahah, i do mention lots of polishglimmersparkle. i'm glad you like it :)
Reply
:iconsinfulfox:
SinfulFox Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I feel guilty for stuff like this too ;~; although sometimes I was friends with the quiet-type, but still there were times where I could have stepped in or lent a hand or tried to soften a bad day with comforting words, but didn't... either because I didn't have the time, or was focused on my own stuff, or just didn't feel like dealing with it. Always makes me wonder what I could have affected just by taking that moment.
Reply
:icondull-glitter:
dull-glitter Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Student Writer
Beautiful and poignant.

I think too often I fashion myself as the victim of my childhood,
but this reminds me more times than not I looked straight on by when the same thing happened to others.

Thank you for writing this!
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Professional Writer
i think we've been cast in all of the roles at one point or another in our lives.

it's certainly more easy to admit being the victim, though.

thank you for reading!
Reply
:iconsingingxsolac3xxd:
SiNgInGxSoLaC3xXD Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. That ending really hit me square in my chest.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Professional Writer
i'm glad it moved you. and thank you for the favorites!
Reply
:iconmirellabailey:
MirellaBailey Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think I have the same reaction as a lot of the commenters here. Just... wow.

I can definitely relate. I wasn't one of the cool kids and I got bullied a lot, but I was lucky in that I also had a small group of friends. I remember one girl that everybody would gang up on when we were 11... It was only years later I found out that during that time her mother was dying and her father was abusing drugs and alcohol. It made me feel so sick about never asking her if she wanted to sit with my friends or something.
Reply
:icongorilla-ink:
goRillA-iNK Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are a truly gifted writer. :love:
I love this a lot...a lot. :heart:
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Professional Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconsamihyypiafan:
Samihyypiafan Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
I used to be the quiet kid with glasses crying, and then in time I became one of the cooler kids with the sharpies and it was my turn to ignore the other quiet kids. It still bothers me to this day that I haven't done anything at all, especially since I knew and understood how the "lonelier" kids felt

It's a great poem, relevant to different ages alike. At work or at school there's always the 'elite clique' you want to be part of
Reply
:icontormentthefallen:
ToRmEnTtHeFaLlEn Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think were all John and were all the bully at one time in are life and we all act like we don't notice ...... 6th grade worst year of my life i got made fun of all most everyday by the people i called 'friends' even one of my best friends made fun of me i acted like i could care less but i still cant forget how they treated me and that was like about 2 or 3 years ago this last week once again a boy sitting behind me in class told his friend how i had a big nose (which people exaggerate but after a long time of hearing it i started to believe it ) i stand out even more now because i love to wear my dog collar to school Ive been refereed to as a scary 'Gothic chick' but ehh don't really bother me i now know who my friends are and who never were to began with and when anyone makes fun of my friends or myself i just cuss them out :D
Reply
:iconpassionsinsanity:
PassionsInsanity Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So honest it hits you in the face - hard. Love it.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Professional Writer
i'm glad you enjoyed it! and thank you for the favorite <3
Reply
:iconeravalkyrie:
EraValkyrie Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
what a luck i didnt do such things :S I was the littel gorl with the glasses... what a pity that by the age of 19 everybody disappointed at me positively as I became an artist and realised how idiot they are to think we are fools XD
Reply
:iconbubbamich:
bubbamich Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Ahh I'm not sure that most of us ever really change :/ This is beautiful, and chilling too
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Professional Writer
i'm glad you liked it :)
Reply
:icondukluss:
Dukluss Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's incredible how tiny little actions can cause guilt that stays with you for such a long time.
And this is incredible because it reminded me of that.
Reply
:iconn4u2k:
N4u2k Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I hope john is okay, I hope you're okay too.

Wonderful piece.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Professional Writer
some days i think i am john. or we all are. still figuring it out.

thank you for the favorite <3
Reply
:iconralenore:
Ralenore Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Student General Artist
<3
Reply
:iconmr-black-bird:
Mr-Black-Bird Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
The power of this piece comes from it's poignancy, and the fact that it's so damn true.
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Professional Writer
i'm glad you liked it. thank you for the favorite as well.
Reply
:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
I used to be "John", just last year actually....
Happy to say I've grown much, much stronger even though I still have ways to improve.
Reply
:iconsileam:
Sileam Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ten years is a long time to have to pretend for. I hope you find peace someday.
Reply
:icondreamshards8:
dreamshards8 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Student Writer
Even the smallest memories haunt us
Reply
:iconschatzina:
SchatzIna Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hm... I think I was one of this lonely depressed childs, when I was younger. No one liked me and so on. It took me very long to figure out how to act normal, so I won't give people an awkward feeling, when I was around and how to be "cool" so I would be able to integrate.
But I never agreed with them, when they made fun about other people or, when they complained how strange this or another person is. Since I know that this is all just caused by inexperience. No one ever told them how to be a nice, polite or "normal" person. Futhermore we all need love the most, when we seem like we don't deserve it.
That's the reason why I decided to become friends with akward people, because after a while they will stop to be awkward and maybe become your best and most loyal friend. :]
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Writer
i agree. often what people call "abnormal behavior" is often just inexperience with social norms. all we can do is model appropriate behavior in order to show that there are social boundaries but people can still let their individual personalities shine through :)
Reply
:iconsuzydrawz:
SuzyDrawz Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Instead of leaving them out of everything so they won't gét any experience, either, as most 'normal' people do. >.>
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Writer
exactly :)
Reply
:iconsuzydrawz:
SuzyDrawz Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:)
Reply
:iconschatzina:
SchatzIna Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
that's so true <3 :]
Reply
:iconsickelegance:
SickElegance Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Gave me chills. <3
Reply
:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Writer
<333
Reply
:iconilyilaice:
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012
i am also guilty of this. probably still am. but in an alternate universe i am a hero saving everyone. i wish there was such a hero alive now.
Reply
:iconemopandagorawr:
emopandagorawr Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012
still that kid.still john.just the female version =/
Reply
:iconcupcakepoo:
cupcakepoo Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Its real fun you see,I was a delicate little girl in third grade.And i was bullied.I still got that scar,you know? That scar from when he push'd me into a pile of rocks?That scar,that runs from my neck to where my spine ends? He got something similar in the face that day. Revenge is sweet as syrup.
Reply
:iconenelysion:
enelysion Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012
I was John back in my freshmen and sophomore years of high school, except I'm a girl with no glasses. :/
Reply
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