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My InspirationYou once asked me what inspired me, sweet love;
And I shall tell what you want to hear...

It is a girl who isn't clever, but clever in what she knows
and a lost boy who knows exactly where he is going to go.
It is the scent of cologne and smoke and lovemaking
and a man who wears his heart on his sleeve
It is a woman who has always believed in her lover
and he will let her down no more
It is a sick man who is whole again
and the wife who stayed by his side
It is a writer who has found a brand new muse
and the paint of the artist who draws her lover
It is the words of a poet whose trust is renewed
and the warmth in the words of the

the soccer game.the thing is, i need
the deer to mean something.

-

i go to the soccer game and smile
and nod while something furious
inside of me is screaming.
a deer appears while the sun
is setting and it's like a scene
from a movie: green grass and gold rays
that spread out, tingeing our feet
with one last bit of wednesday.
everyone watches the deer and makes
noises of appreciation and i look
around and i think to myself
"okay, this is it, i am happy."

-

the deer is watching me and i try
to decide if it's a metaphor.
i want the deer to be death, see,
to represent fucking or blacking
out or apathy or loneliness.

someone does something

A Child AgainI wish I could be a child again.

Where all I had to worry about

Were skinned knees

And cooties from boys.

I wish I would be a child again.

Where boys ran away from girls

And no one lied.

I wish I could be a child again.

Where parents were devoted

In every part of my life.

I wish I could be a child again.

When there was recess,

And fun and games.

I want to be a child again.

I want the child meant wonder.

I want the never ending hope.

I want loyalty.

I want simplicity.

I want to be a child again.

I want my innocence back.

I want to not have to worry.

I want grades that don't matter

I want time outs to be the worse punishme

In the EndIn the end,
We try to pretend,
Everything's fine,
And you're still mine.

But you aren't,
And you can't,
Stand to be,
Around me.

We're upside down,
And running around,
Trying to find,
What we left behind.

But what do we do,
I wish I knew,
How to fix it,
Even if only a bit.

I love you,
More than you knew,
But you didn't know,
I wish I could show,
How I feel,
But your heart's like steel,
You've rejected me now,
And I don't know how,
I'll be able to look at you again...

Riding BikesGoing off medication is like riding a bike.

The doctor holds tight to my handlebars and lowers my dosage. The training wheels are off, and oh hey, look at me go! It's like flying but not, and I'm doing so well but then there's a horrible accident and I'm somehow upside down at the bottom of the sea with both wheels still spinning.

"Help," I say, and my doctor pats my head, puts a band-aid on my knee, and writes a note on my chart.

I've balanced by myself for months at a time, but I always end up hitting a fucking tree or falling off a cliff or something equally catastrophic because I am a catastrophic person. Except that is an exaggeration

Tired.I, am tired.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of all the hard work of healing.
Tired of failing.
Tired of falling.
Tired.

I am tired of things,
People, and notions.
Tired of people,
And tired of their motions.
Tired of their talk
Tired of their commotion.

Tired of everything
Inside and out
Tired of hating
Too tired to pout

I just wish,
Wish I could live,
Live underwater
Some place to forgive

Some place to wish
And wish I shall do
Wish to not be tired
Oh, please wish,
Come true.

HappyYou looked. I glanced. We met. I smiled. You smiled back. A sentence here. A metaphor there. A memory we both found beyond repair. I shared. You listened. You shared. I heard. You paused. And then I kissed you.

We're happy.

Fingers pressed skin. Then danced apart. I teased. You laughed. You joked. I grinned. Stairwells were dreamcatchers. Stars were destinies. Guitars became epiphanies. More words. More memories. More to admit. More to regret. You were damaged. I was broken.

We're happy.

You stopped smiling. I didn't laugh. Words began to go unspoken. Regrets emerged. Fingers didn't touch. Lips faltered. Stairwells were nightmare holders.

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Growing Upby ~estallidos

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Visual & Found Poetry

an honest adult.

-

i post these to twitter, by the way. so if you don't have instagram you can still read them.

www.twitter.com/understandably
www.facebook.com/kelseyrakes

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~skeletonsteps Mar 16, 2013 New member Student Writer

This is so honest and real, it scares me. Lovely work.

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~xpheonix57 Sep 26, 2012

That was so amazing to read that I could literally feel the heartache.

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~xpheonix57 Sep 26, 2012

And after reading it again, it brings tears to my eyes.

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~Rorrimami Jun 24, 2012 Writer

Stunningly sad.

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~darkprincess131998 Jun 6, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

wow...this almost brought me to tears...i can put myself in both places

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~Vria May 2, 2012 Student Photographer

I love the inclusion of capitals in this one. It makes the poem seem that much more reflective.

I usually love the softness of the lowercase, though.

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~estallidos May 4, 2012 Professional Writer

thank you so much!

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~oviedomedina Mar 22, 2012

Who hasn´t seen, or experienced, something like this?
Excellent and most illuminating.
Thank you!

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~estallidos Mar 25, 2012 Professional Writer

thank YOU for reading!

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~oviedomedina Mar 25, 2012

It was a pleasure!

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