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there is a chinese proverb that says your teeth will fall out if you tell lies.

i used to always dream my teeth would crumble from my mouth and lay glittering on the street like coins. i used to dream that the slightest touch jarred them loose, knocked them from my jaw leaving only swells of broken tissue behind. i used to dream of rivulets of blood streaming from the corners of my mouth, of thirty two pieces of myself lying naked on the ground, thirty two tooth fairies that would never come. i used to dream of screaming.

"you know," said my psychology TA, "to dream of losing one's teeth is very common. it typically means that you're concerned about your physical appearance. it's a dream that is prevalent among many young women."



i used to dream my mom would try to kill me. i used to dream she'd push me down flights of stairs or hold a gun to my temple or run a razor lovingly along my throat. i used to dream she'd watch me drown and smile, that she would set my room on fire, would lock me up and leave me to die. i used to tell her this and she would cry.

"you know," she said to me recently, "i found out that dreaming of your mother trying to kill you just means that you're stressed about your own ability to nurture and take care of people."



i dreamt about cars more often than anything. i dreamt of being in the driver's seat and not being able to steer, of crashing into other cars and buildings and guardrails. i dreamt of vehicles without brakes, of careening off bridges, of windshield exploding inwards. i dreamt of a rain of glass and the wail of an ambulance.

"you know," my friend told me, "dreaming about not having control of a car means that you don't think you have control of your life. you don't like how things are turning out, and you don't know how to handle the traumas that life is throwing at you."



these days i mostly lie awake in bed and stare at the ceiling.
these days i can't fall asleep.
i am going through my old writing. i am also eating cake, and ate cake for breakfast and lunch.

i also have a fanpage on facebook, now: [link]

get backstage access to the utter banality that is my life, such as my MS paint drawings and the aforementioned overshare about cake.

i will probably also post stuff about my writing projects, if you find that more interesting than cake for whatever odd reason.
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:iconzuzmy:
Zuzmy Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Student
Wow, insanely brilliant work. I really like it. Its so well-written.
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:iconnixxohplease:
nixxohplease Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ohmygod I love your writing so much. i love dA. i love writing. so many feels. <3
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:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Writer
i can lose a day easily on devianart :)
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:iconragnaice:
ragnaice Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm, I just can't tell if the dreams or reality is more stressful here....
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   Writer
:iconcongratssignplz: ...on the DLD Pick of the Day! Wonderful work, written so very well. Thank you. :+fav:
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our "Pick of the Day". It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconmr-black-bird:
Mr-Black-Bird Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012
God, every time I read this I love it more and more. My goal in writing has always been to write something true, something poignant and beautiful in it's poignancy. You manage to do this time and time again, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little envious.

PS: I cant seem to sleep either, but when I do I don't dream anymore.
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:icondarkpunksbabe:
darkpunksbabe Featured By Owner May 26, 2012
I often dream my teeth are falling out also... It always feels so real too, I actually have to check my mouth in the morning ><

I also dream, not that I'm flying, but more like walking on cushions of air... like a staircase and platforms in the sky, but they're invisible, and there's a trick to getting on them, and I can only remember it when I'm alseep, but it feels so real, I still find myself trying to remember the trick of it in real life. I'm sure I'll get it someday.

and then lastly I have dreams I never remember, until they happen... those scare me the most...
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:icone-raserhead:
E-raserhead Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful work, by the way!
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:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner May 20, 2012  Professional Writer
i'm glad you liked it! thank you for the favorites :)
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:icone-raserhead:
E-raserhead Featured By Owner May 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problemo :)
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:icone-raserhead:
E-raserhead Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I find it strange that I never dream of all the things that are considered very common... teeth falling out, running from someone or something, falling.

I dream of murder, of killing children and babies; I dream of rape and of witnessing rape. The dreams are often lucid. The lucidity of my dreams is beyond my control. At times it can be very disturbing.
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:iconemo-skittle-eater:
Emo-Skittle-Eater Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student General Artist
When I was four and five I dreamt of murders and masochists... Explosions and Dungeons... Heartbreak and headache... Love and lost... Dying... Now I just... Don't dream... At all...
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:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Professional Writer
maybe that's a good thing.
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:iconxiaoxiaocamster:
xiaoxiaocamster Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Student Digital Artist
In the Philippines, we have this superstition about dreaming about teeth falling out. To us, it means that someone's going to die soon. People don't really believe it, though. Maybe just a bit, like in a genetic-superstitious way. So it's simply a bad omen.
Once, after I told them I dreamed my teeth fell out, on the same morning my grandmother dreamed that she died, my classmates got unnerved and made me bite a piece of wood and a leaf on a plant. No idea why, but that's supposed to avert the impending tragedy. Anyway, my grandma didn't die. So I was like, whatever. I'll Google it later, or better, ask an old person about it. But they'd probably tell me they don't know because they heard it from their grandparents too.

But dreams can always and forever mean anything.
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:iconestallidos:
estallidos Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Professional Writer
oh man, that's so awesome! i've only heard the superstitions i mentioned in the poem attributed to the dream, but i guess that is a byproduct of growing up in the US.

your superstition is more morbid, but also more interesting. maybe i need to go gnaw some wood?
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:icontowards-eternity:
towards-eternity Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011   Writer
featured here: [link] (:
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:iconsupsparks:
supSPARKS Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
march 24th, my birthday! (:
beautiful, beautiful writing.
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:iconcapturethecrash:
capturethecrash Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2011
It's okay that you ate a lot of cake.

Also, I don't think I believe that somebody else can tell you what your own dreams mean. You know the test where people look at a face and try to describe what emotion the face reveals? Well, sometimes they say anger, or guilt, or joy, or peace. All for the same face.
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:icontowards-eternity:
towards-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011   Writer
well this is absolutely splendid. <33

off to your fanpage now. oh and writing and cake are both rather interesting, especially when combined.
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:iconkhaleidakk:
khaleidakk Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
I dream about Mum slitting my wrist. I am speechless, really.

You are amazing, by the way.
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:iconwivetwhisk:
wivetwhisk Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I hate it when someone favorites everything I do because it seems like they're mindlessly faving it BUT I PROMISE I'M NOT
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:iconbackoncemore:
backoncemore Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
i love your old work and your new work... hell, i love all your work.
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:iconcatastrophicsmile:
CatastrophicSmile Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
I dream about not having brakes all the damn time! I hate it SO much!!!! I always have this feeling of being at fault, too, like even the brakes were out it is somehow my fault and I feel ashamed. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I also used to dream that I'd have these shiny black porcupine-like quills growing out of my neck - they were glossy and terrifying, like black pearls or giant bee stingers. I felt ashamed of them, just like the lack of brakes, and I remember the whole concept of the dream was that I needed to hide them or cut them off, but that it would be too physically painful to do so. Random, but yes. I dreamed about them all the time.
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:icondrenchedinashes:
drenchedinashes Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
this may sound strange, but I feel like I go through phases where your poetry pops in and out of my life. I was thinking the other day that I hadn't seen anything new from you in awhile (I guess I don't check dA often enough though), and then I got an invite to "like" your new fanpage on facebook later that day (we're friends on there because I creeped on you once and added you and you actually accepted). then I come on here and you've posted a new poem. I guess this is irrelevant, but just thought I'd share.

anyway, this is lovely. I used to dream about my teeth falling out of my mouth all the time. but the way you write about it is so much more beautiful than I would ever think to describe it. hope you're managing to get some sleep.
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:iconbabygee:
BaByGee Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
i think cake is incredibly interesting. especially when being eaten. <3
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:iconalmcdermid:
almcdermid Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
"You know, talking about what other people's dream mean means your full of crap."

Nicely done. :)
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:iconchercitia:
Chercitia Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011  Hobbyist
:love:

My dreams are extremely weird... I used to have them all the time when I was little but hardly ever nowadays, probably because I rarely get enough sleep. No time to dream.
My dreams were all like little stories, but I never finished any of them.
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:iconeiera:
Eiera Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbigheartplz:
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:iconsylviaveir:
SylviaVeir Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I used to dream I was a cake, that I was on trial for murder and that there was a bear waiting for me around every corner I turned. Lately I seem to dream about books and friends I haven't talked to for years. I have given up trying to figure out what it means.
I think this is awesome writing and I like the way you conclude every mention of a type of dream with an interpretation of what it might mean :love:
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:icongirlofgreys:
GirlOfGreys Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011  Professional Photographer
i have dreams a lot like one and three and their meanings are very true.
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:iconurban-lingo:
urban-lingo Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
cake = <3
this = <33
you = <333
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:icontasarnande:
Tasarnande Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. I hope you dont mind, but it kind of gave me an idea for a poem..
Cake is amazing by the way =)
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:iconfreakmeow:
Freakmeow Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011
I've had some dreams about my teeth falling out, too, just like that. But mostly I dream about killing people. And I also dream about cats. They are nice dreams, I wish I wasn't this bad at sleeping.
A great piece of prose, once again ♥
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:icongoo-goo-ga-joob:
goo-goo-ga-joob Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011


crying.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011   Writer
Reading this makes me feel less alone. I don't sleep much, but when I do I always dream something horrible.
I try not to worry too much about what it means, but this gives me something to think about.
Also, it's absolutely beautiful.
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:iconcurious-spider:
Curious-Spider Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Your writing has always been (and I believe, always will be) beautiful and emotional.
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:iconsporkingitup:
sporkingitup Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
I have the dreams about losing my teeth and crashing my car ALL the time. With the car dreams, usually my brakes don't work and I'm trying to stop at a red light or a stop sign and I just slide on through even though I'm standing on the pedal.

This is wonderful, as usual! :D
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:icontuesday-francesca:
Tuesday-Francesca Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
this is really simple and honest, and somehow so effective in that. it just sounds like a page torn out of an old journal, and yet it's beautifully, truthfully written. I love it.
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:iconghostporn:
ghostporn Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
you know, i heard that lying awake and not dreaming means you have good teeth that will probably last forever, and this trait typically leads to the creation of some damn good poetry.

B)
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:iconragged-ashes:
ragged-ashes Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is fantastic. Hints at something deeper wrong, when we all try to divulge the meaning of dreams and cannot truly know the same terror felt as the dreamer. And in those moments after, when we wake and realise we've missed out on the disaster, there is no explanation that can cover it.

I dreamt last night that I had sex with a guy, well it was more mutual dry-humping, and when I turned to look my mum was standing in the doorway, shocked. This is why I cannot leave you alone, she said, and turned away in tears. When I woke up, I cursed my stupidity and wondered (feared) how I was going to tell my hubby. Luckily, it hasn't happened. It was a dream. But we all wonder why we dream of such extravagant things.
Reply
:iconsully-bean:
Sully-Bean Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
ItI love it very much... I keep going back to read it. I think it might be a new favourite. One of my many favourites of yours. :')
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:iconathenaharlequin:
AthenaHarlequin Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student General Artist
I'm always waiting for your next piece of writing, and when I see it I'm like "finally , something worth reading!"
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:iconreasonstolaugh:
ReasonsToLaugh Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
Amazing.
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:iconbroshmosh:
Broshmosh Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
This is good. I like this a lot. Nice work :3
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:iconjpalmgren:
JPalmgren Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
Fantastic story, it's reminiscent of Sylvia Plath. There is some fantastic imagery and just the right amout of repitition.
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:iconaugipaw:
augipaw Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student Filmographer
I think my dreams tend to be pretty surreal or fantasy.;; I don't remember much of my dreams now, but I had a period of time where I remembered every dream I had every day. Or umm, multiple dreams that I had while sleeping. Very strange...
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:iconbadasskunoichi:
BadassKunoichi Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow, so nice :)

I had so many dreams where I lost my teeth :o
I didn't have those dreams for a period of time, but then last week my dream was about losing a tooth. I guess I'm kind of used to it already -.-'
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:iconmangagrrl15:
mangagrrl15 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
I frequently have dreams about failing examinations and tests. I'd stare at the words written on the page and they'd change languages, first arabic then chinese and for one second english, but even then it was just gibberish.

Apparently this reflects fear of failing at life, or failing to meet other's expectations. I fear being anything less than perfect.

I also have dreams about cake. But the meaning to that is much simpler.
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:iconsullen-industrialist:
Sullen-Industrialist Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student Writer
Very nice work ^^
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